Why did you divorce your wife reddit
Why did you divorce your wife reddit. But seriously - get a therapist. My wife planned for weeks even though i knew, she kept telling me everything is fine shes working on being a better partner to me. but nomatter what i do,i cant stop thinking of her. second marriages divorce 60% of the time, third marriages divorce 80% of the time. 11 votes, 42 comments. This, right now, this life is the best. So I called him. Nov 5, 2018 · Some knew that they could never rebuild the trust they once had; others reflect on moments of apathy from their spouse that let them know the flame had gone out. You can suggest trial separation - "What if we try living separately for X weeks and go out on a date 1-2 times a week to sort our feelings?". You went something like 4 billion years of not existing and at no point was it fun. As soon as we separated she was with a new guy talking about wanting a family with him. ” As one example, if you have a 401k and your spouse has no retirement savings, you might have to give half to your spouse. If he really wants you to stay, even with your issues, he WANTS to help you. May 23, 2018 · In a recent AskReddit thread, one user asked the folks of Reddit who've been through a divorce to share the red flags they ignored before getting married, and their responses make it clear that Jun 14, 2021 · Here are 9 ways to answer the question, "Why did you get divorced?" 1. If you’re invested in keeping the marriage together, go soon… like ASAP. 43M subscribers in the AskReddit community. If you’re going to do a quick divorce and remarry itd be really weird/suspicious to be like “okay this is mine, this is mine, oh and that is mine. I think because he had been through it before, he thought he had a one up on me like he can do it again, no problem. It can be worth every penny though. The one real reason I can give for why waiting a year is actually a good idea is that it gives your kid time to accept that the divorce is real and their parents aren't getting back together. Not asking for why people think someone cheated. I mean, divorce is very legal and you don't need a good reason. I was so nervous, I was shaking. 3 timer here. My ex and I did couples therapy once, it held off divorce for 3 years. Asking for those who cheated, why did you do it before getting divorced, why… Feel like you're going to always hear the worst of the worst stories online. This will also make things more real for your wife and you can see whether she'll try doing something or will just roll with it. If she makes less than you, she is owed alimony. Come for the gossip, stay for the analysis and community! Please help us keep the community fun & safe by reporting any post or comment rule violations to the mod team. AskWomen: A subreddit dedicated to asking women questions about their thoughts, lives, and experiences; providing a place where all women can comfortably and candidly share their responses in a non-judgmental space. “I lost my wife’s trust. Golddiggers etc style and tricks. Also picked up a skateboard for the first time since I was a teenager, and figuring it all out again is awesome. more waking hours are spent communicating between officer and dispatcher than with officer and wife because of shitty late or early shifts. Not divorced, but quit drinking a few years back and it's been great - the freedom to DO things that don't revolve around drinking, or do things that you couldn't do if you'd been drinking is great. You will miss your boys more than anything, you need to do right by them. Stay strong folks. You have 30 days to "answer" a divorce petition and if you simply ignore it then whatever they ask for in the petition becomes the default judgement. The big exception is if one of you gives up their job and future earnings potential to Why would you divorce your wife? Share Add a Comment. Edit/Update: Wow. The southern U. But I bet a lot you felt that way at some point in your marriages. However, not sure if you had to sponsor her for an immigration visa - but I recall those requiring financial support of a spouse for a certain number of years if you divorce. I think it's a pretty typical codependent marriage. And if thats not included in your divorce filings then I assume your ex wife can probably sue you based on some kind of deception. Cheating aside and Keeping it short (er) and sweet, what made you decide to divorce your spouse? Archived post. It will cost all of that. She agreed to sign since I told her I would take severe legal action if she didn't. His number was in an old address book of hers. If you have a house and one of you keeps it, the other might have to give half of the equity you have to the one that leaves. maybe its a relationship that starts with a highly dependent level of trust during dangerous on the job situations that culminates in improperly placed intimacy. You can however draw it out in an embarrassing and messy manner fighting over assets and/or custody. I'd wake up in the night panicking and sweating and the idea of being dead felt like a relief but it's not. Your partner isn't going to be exactly like you, and that's absolutely wonderful cause they'll help you understand things about yourself you never could've on your own. The vast majority of divorces are not contentious like this. This is the time to stand up for yourself and say “nope, you treated me like shit in the marriage, but not any more. The man I chose seemed to be kind, gentle, loving, a hard worker, the provider, the kind of person I wanted to have adventures with, raise children in partnership with, and who treated me with chivalrous romantic gestures which was lovely. The financial stress of divorce and the psychological stress of seeing the children suffer is just not worth it for me. So that would mean they estimate that your divorce could take maybe 40-50 hours. Unfortunately most "healthy supportive marriages" are ideal breeding grounds for latent addiction issues to fester. EDIT 2: THANKS FOR THE GOLD! EDIT: Thanks everyone for sharing your stories! We can only hope that the married Redditors reading through this thread can walk away with some useful insight or advice. It was a very expensive, time consuming and stressful process, but I do not regret it at all. And to anyone else reading this: acknowledging that there is an actual problem and accepting that most of it is due to your own, personal shortcomings means that there is hope. All offer a window into why divorce became the answer to a question they kept asking themselves. I ask this question because I saw another question that asked about what someone should know while they're going through a divorce. 186 comments in 3 hours. She left that evening only saying “ I guess you know im breaking up with you" I just shook my head yea and she left. When it comes to last-resort counseling - counseling that happens only after a couple is at their wit's end for what else to do - most of the time things are too far gone. No. especially in smaller departments - an officer ends up boinking the dispatcher. Your wife is due half. I'm remarried and make more than my wife. Something stopped me, I couldn't explain it. They really should teach that. Almost did. You’re going to feel like shit and want to cry so it’s good to have a distraction during drop offs for the first few months. So we’re gonna fast forward a little to about 8 months later. It's really hard to separate the PROCESS of divorce from the OUTCOME. When things bubbles up again, he didn’t want to go back and asked for a divorce instead. It’s worth every penny. You never know what will happen but making an effort like this may go farther than you think and if not then you really gave it your best go. If you could snap your fingers, and it would magically be a year from now, with the divorce over, would you do so? We got married young and I thought he was everything I wanted. I’m leaving with my head held high. I will say this: I don't think that they are biased toward women, but that they are biased toward this antiquated idea that men are bread winners and are thus defined by their paychecks and ability to provide for their children, but not necessarily have presence in their kids' lives. I have been contemplating divorce for a long time and I have decided for a variety of reasons that it is better to stay married if you can. Marriage is a complex thing and what unravels it can be down to a myriad of factors. I didn’t realise, but he and my mum had stayed in touch, sending Christmas cards every year. I hope your day got better since you realized that the grass was not actually greener. Kids are innocent in the issues of their parents, and they’re owed the chance to grow up with as little trauma as possible. That was three years ago. I see so many single mothers and fathers , foreigners and Japanese, it's always , lies, cheating and language barrier. You can't really stop a divorce by not signing. Half the equity in your home, savings, everything. So here's my take on this. So yeah. You've a much higher likelihood of it being "for better" if you make the effort and at least try to learn Chinese. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. You can't predict it either way but if she's willing to try it signals to me she isn't ready to throw in the towel just yet. I didn't talk to an attorney beforehand, but I had a couple consultations the week after we talked. It can help you and your ex (finally!) have a real conversation about the state of your marriage and accept that divorce is necessary. You can always make more money, you can’t make more time. I loved his chivalry and strength and self assurance and confidence. I've said this on reddit before. Don't divorce him to give him someone better, work on becoming that someone better. In fact, that was easy. I texted a couple of people after we talked, and saved screenshots of those texts. S. Is there something else I should look out for. ”. I’m even more astounded at some of these stories! Frankly, and you might want to take this into your next relationship, if someone has to tell you they’re considering divorce to get you to take what they’ve raised seriously, it’s on you that your marriage failed. I had texts of the threats on my phone and contacted a lawyer that same week. Shout out to all the poster who felt sad by recent divorce and started typing their experience only remember "why" they got divorced to begin with. " If you put your career ahead of your family, resentment can soon follow, so explain Ex wife kept saying I was cheating on her and wanted a divorce. You'll get there and be happy again. Yeah that's how divorce works in most states in the U. Hi please give me some red flags and reasons why you divorced your Japanese spouse. My husband was also previously married and would constantly threaten divorce, even in that short time and for the silliest reasons. The fact that you acknowledge you aren’t meeting or understanding your wife’s emotional needs means there is hope. you actually don’t escape with your sanity, you escape with low self worth and you regret everything and then you get kicked around by your ex for years to come. You know, I was a lot like this (your ex wife) in my marriage too. If you come at her with this kind of energy, she is going to match it back at you. If you want a contentious divorce that will harm your children, go ahead and do this. Forget it if you have kids. That's the one thing I didn't do, and I saw my son struggle with that for a few years. No bores, no bullies. this is why i love harvey bc he always makes me the complete breakfast and one of his best lines is something like “i was afraid of you when we first met, now look at us” or he will water my crops in the morning sometimes and feed the cat and wait for me on the porch to say “i may be boring but i will be the most loyal man for life” UR NOT BORING MY LIL CUTIE And thats why you are happy now because you gave it all you got and it did not change how you felt. I was in the courthouse ready to submit it. I am astounded at the traction this post has gotten. . As a happily married man of almost 15 years, I can't imagine ever divorcing my wife. Redditors who remarried your ex-husband/wife, how did it happen and why? I instantly decided to track Chris down. It really is and it's very fair. You divorce (actually separate) and then you can do whatever you want. First go round we started dating in HS, moved in together after I turned 18. Sort by: Men of Reddit, what's your "line in the sand" that your ex or current SO has crossed? Even if you and your spouse communicate in English, you can't expect their family members to be able to do the same, and they will be a part of your life, for better or worse. is just so backwards in general that it doesn't surprise me that you are getting screwed over. Like. For serious gossips with a great sense of humor. Which isn't to say it's not worth doing. As a society, we are indoctrinated into a "for better or worse, in sickness and in health" mentality, leading us to believe we need to support our partner, try to help them on the path to "getting better", etc. I would agree. So if you're worried about "stopping the clock", it may not be a big deal. Unfortunately as we grew up and I changed, those same characteristics I once loved became sexism, aggression, manipulation and control. You just hear about the terrible ones. (little tid bit roommate got pregnant from our one night stand) the roommate was also still staying with me still. Many people want the outcome, but are terrified of the process (and rightfully so, it can suck). I think the grass is greener comes from them aleeady being happy but unhappy they dont have more like in the movies, you divorced because you where unhappy married and not because you thought you could find happiness with another person magically and you gave it all bit somethings cant be fixed Now, you say why did you talk to women online, well I married a woman who came out in marriage counseling after this was said and done that she never loved me , I had a feeling or vibe because over these years she just couldn't hold my hand ,go for walks or just watch a movie with your husband instead of just sitting in the bed all the time, I Arguments should not be considered moments of division, but instead moments where you finally get to understand each other more and try to work around your differences. We had already been separated for a few years due to her drug and alcohol addictions, but I hadn't filed for divorce because I held out hope she would come around. Keep it as short or as long as you want, but I’d like to know why you think your marriage ended. Then the stress of being parents, and paying bills (we were POOR!) and just being hormonal young adults took its toll. Curious about men’s perspective on divorce and marriage once he’s been through it. Normally - alimony duration would be a drop in the bucket for such a short marriage. Reply reply more reply More replies More replies More replies More replies More replies When I was getting divorced, another friend who had also been divorced told me “you won’t find the right person to love you, until you can love yourself and you are happy. 00 and $300. Day before thanksgiving was super nice, went shopping for all the thanksgiving food, asked me what and when i wanted breakfast the next day then handed me a folded up piece of paper that said she wants us to get a divorce. Being dead is really boring. People find happy people attractive” I realised she was right, so I spent a lot of time soul searching and considering everything about myself that I liked, that I didn Welcome to r/popculturechat. But you do have a right to force your ex to refinance the house without your name on the mortgage or sell but lawyers don't like to do I got to a point where I was very frustrated with life and I felt like she hated me and that I was the problem in her life, so we talked about it and decided to split and i hit the lowest point ive had in my life but ive also learned certain things about myself and gotten better about certain things by being alone a lot. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. Most domestic lawyers bill at between $250. 00 an hour. 90% of divorce settlements don't involve alimony and mostly you're going to keep your premarital assets, split joint assets, and walk away. Now, it does have a flip side and that that the higher earning spouse can cheat and it doesn't change alimony one bit. I had the paperwork ready to get filed. Let him help you because we want to fix things. Thanks for the response, it really feels worth a try. If you are a virgin when you get married the divorce rate is like 5%. "I put my career first. Maybe good that she plans to move back to her home country. He loves you, men don't love half assed. i havent been able to If the divorce is contested with kids and property it could get really expensive and it will be more expensive say in DC than in rural KY. We have a toddler together already. Talk to your wife and if she want a divorce, have it through an arbiter. Your comment is tone deaf and shows that you’ve either never been in a crappy decaying relationship before, or that you think parenting is as easy as just literally existing and living in the same structure as your child. Either it works or it doesn't. At some point you still have get whose shit is whose sorted out. You're not one in a million, you're one in 400 trillion so enjoy it. You can backdate your divorce petition to any date that you can show has some significance. Divorced men of Reddit, what made you fall out of love with your wife and pushed you to a divorce? No one on the altar says their vows expecting to get divorced. People who have had 2 sex partners before marriage divorce around 30%, 1 partner before around 20%. Know it’s going to be hard but over time you’ll get use to your new “normal”. Think about it like this. We got married, had a couple of kiddos. And if you have a shitty/lazy divorce attorney, you'll even be responsible for the mortgage until it's paid off. there’s also . Plan a walk, or dinner, or meet a friend after you drop off your kids. One of the possible paths is not jumping into hardcore divorce right away. While I understand you have issues, he does too. If you were actually in a partnership, them raising that there were things that didn’t work for them would have actually 4 months. Thankfully no children and it was a clean divorce and I'm happily divorced. My ex really liked me taking care of him at first but over time it became very toxic with me in the maternal role and eventually very critical and controlling as I got more unhappy. oqfi ctn qgdwhy vwlxh vwhkuqg nfim usgozw fkpuphb ghu vaywp